Today is the day that Bruce Willis has officially become to old to do any more action movies. I think someone needs to pass that information along to him. Sure we all loved him when he was younger in "Die Hard". I mean, who wouldn't love that. We know we all loved the much under appreciated movie "The Fifth Element", but lets be honest we knew he was getting a little to old in that movie for all of the tough action scenes and that was in '98. The final straw was in "Live Free or Die Hard". Ok, I get the nostalgia behind it; that doesn't mean I have to like it. But lets be serious, he is going to break a hip. I mean who does he think he is, Clint Eastwood? Lets just pray that this is the final straw.
Now that I have that out of my system, let's redirect our focus from an old and unrealistic actor to a horribly misdirected movie that I am not sure was worth the price of admission (and I got in for free).
Funny man Kevin Smith directs this train wreck of a movie. "Cop Out" Stars Bruce Willis as Jimmy Monroe, a dark and brooding mans man, and Tracy Morgan(co-star of the television show "30 Rock") as Paul Hodges, a insecure movie obsessed fun loving lunatic. Both unlikely quick witted cops are partners who, as most buddy cop movies dictates, are misunderstood and under appreciated by their police force. And because of their less than traditional ways, they find themselves suspended for one month without pay. This is very bad news for Jimmy (Willis) because his daughters wedding is coming up six weeks. So in hopes of securing enough money to be able to pay for the wedding, Jimmy decides that he is going to sell his extremely valuable Baseball Card (geek, and not in a good way). With card in hand, Monroe walks into a card shop that 30 seconds later gets robbed by Seann William Scott's character Dave. Of course Dave gets away, and Jimmy and Paul must bring Dave to justice in order to pay for his daughters wedding, which proves to be more challenging than first expected.
Exciting I know. The problem with this movie is that it looses its appeal within the first 30 minutes; troubling seeing as how it is about 2 hours in length. The jokes and gimmicks are fun up to a certain point and then they become labored and very predictable. This is pretty much true for the entire movie except for one of the ending scenes with Seann William Scott. You will know what I am talking about if/when you see it.
And the climax of the movie is not really that spectacular. Without giving anything away, a person with half a brain would be able to figure out that this movie would end in a showdown between the two partners and a mass of bad guys (I think they just didn't get enough love in their childhoods). But it doesn't really feel like they are ever in real danger or that what they are doing is important. I know not every movie can be like "Gran Torino" but many more should try.
Overall, this is not a terrible movie, just disappointing. If you are looking for something to waste a couple of hours with, this might just be for you. If you are looking for anything other than mediocrity, I urge you to stay away...very, very, very far away.
3 out of 5
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
It is with sadness that I must inform my blog followers (the two of you) that I am officially dead. It happened at 4:25pm on April 12th, 2010. The police report says states that Jeremy Wayne Irvin was walking into one of his favorite movie theatres "The Flicks", when unexpectedly his mind was blown into a thousand pieces. Witnesses claim that they didn't get a good look at the perpetrators face but all reported seeing a girl with a dragon tattoo fleeing the scene of the crime.
Yes, in case you haven't been able to figure out yet, I just had the extreme pleasure of watching the Swedish film "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" based on the first book of Stieg Larsson's "Millennium Trilogy". In this darkly rooted mystery, we follow a 40 year old mystery revolving around the disappearance, and possible murder, of a girl named Harriet Vanger. One day during a family reunion/business meeting (comprised of 30 members of the Vanger Family) Harriet disappeared off of the face of the Earth. And because of unfortunate circumstances that are to long to go into, Harriet's Uncle Henrik Vanger (played by Sven-Bertil Taube), who is president of the family company, believes that one of his own family members is guilty of the crime.
Flash forward to present time and we meet Lisbeth Salander (played by Noomi Rapace), a very tough 22 year old girl who is a out for truth and justice, at least her version of it. She and another man, Mikael Blomkvist (played by Michael Nygvist), are hired by Henrik to help try and finally solve this family secret that has been 40 years in the making.
I do not want to describe to much about Lisbeth and mikael because watching these to characters develop, and their interactions with one another, is one of the many wonderful things about this movie. I personally can't get enough of them. Thank goodness there are still two more movies in the series to look forward to!
This movie is slower paced, which is usually the way for Scandinavian films. They do something different than most American films do nowadays, they actually focus on plot and character development and not big chase scenes. And even though some might be scared off by the mere idea of reading subtitles for a movie that clocks in at over 2 and a half hours, all I can say is you won't regret it. In fact, it seemed to be one of the shortest movies I have ever had the pleasure of watching.
I can not say enough good things about this movie. The script is amazing, the acting is top notch, and the visuals are something out of a dark and moody dream. While this definitely will not be everyone's cup of tea, if you can stomach it, you will be well rewarded in the end.
WARNING: strong violence, sexual depictions (including a very graphic rape scene), and language.
4 and (1/2) out of 5
Yes, in case you haven't been able to figure out yet, I just had the extreme pleasure of watching the Swedish film "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" based on the first book of Stieg Larsson's "Millennium Trilogy". In this darkly rooted mystery, we follow a 40 year old mystery revolving around the disappearance, and possible murder, of a girl named Harriet Vanger. One day during a family reunion/business meeting (comprised of 30 members of the Vanger Family) Harriet disappeared off of the face of the Earth. And because of unfortunate circumstances that are to long to go into, Harriet's Uncle Henrik Vanger (played by Sven-Bertil Taube), who is president of the family company, believes that one of his own family members is guilty of the crime.
Flash forward to present time and we meet Lisbeth Salander (played by Noomi Rapace), a very tough 22 year old girl who is a out for truth and justice, at least her version of it. She and another man, Mikael Blomkvist (played by Michael Nygvist), are hired by Henrik to help try and finally solve this family secret that has been 40 years in the making.
I do not want to describe to much about Lisbeth and mikael because watching these to characters develop, and their interactions with one another, is one of the many wonderful things about this movie. I personally can't get enough of them. Thank goodness there are still two more movies in the series to look forward to!
This movie is slower paced, which is usually the way for Scandinavian films. They do something different than most American films do nowadays, they actually focus on plot and character development and not big chase scenes. And even though some might be scared off by the mere idea of reading subtitles for a movie that clocks in at over 2 and a half hours, all I can say is you won't regret it. In fact, it seemed to be one of the shortest movies I have ever had the pleasure of watching.
I can not say enough good things about this movie. The script is amazing, the acting is top notch, and the visuals are something out of a dark and moody dream. While this definitely will not be everyone's cup of tea, if you can stomach it, you will be well rewarded in the end.
WARNING: strong violence, sexual depictions (including a very graphic rape scene), and language.
4 and (1/2) out of 5
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Greenberg
I must first admit that I kind of was going into this movie completely blind folded to the fact of the real plot. I figured it was going to be about a man who was on a journey of self discovery. Oh how I was wrong! It is not a movie about a man trying to find himself, because that would imply that there was actually a developing plot.
Greenberg,starring Ben Stiller as Roger Greenberg and amazing newcomer Greta Gerwig as Florence Marr, was written and directed by Noah Baumbach. This was the same man who brought us "The Squid and the Whale", a movie that not many saw but everyone should have. This time around Baumbach presents a story about a man named Roger Greenberg who decides, after being recently released from an mental institute in New York, to go and house-sit for his brother Phil Greenberg, played by Chris Messina. During this time Greenberg decides that he is going to take a break from life and just "do nothing". This manifestation of his attitude is completely reflected in the script of the movie, which provides no growth for almost the entire film. We follow Greenberg from boring socially removed experience to more of the same situations just with different scenery to look at.
But as the movie progresses, if you can call it that, we see a truly different type of romantic relationship begin to develop. Roger begins to loath his lonely isolated life and remedies it by having awkward sex followed by mean spirited conversations with his brother's personal assistant, Florence Marr. And that is the basic premise of the entire movie.
Of course there are some questions that need to be answered such as "will Greenberg finally figure out how to be happy outside of the asylum?" Or how about "will Greenberg finally be able to put some other persons needs before his own?" All of these questions, among many more, get answered by the end of the movie. But, by that point in time we don't care.
That is one of the major problems with this movie. You don't really care for the characters at all. They are all so self destructive that by the time the audience reaches the end, they really don't care for the characters, which in turn makes the ending seem less fulfilling.
Stick with "The Squid and the Whale".
2 out of 5
Greenberg,starring Ben Stiller as Roger Greenberg and amazing newcomer Greta Gerwig as Florence Marr, was written and directed by Noah Baumbach. This was the same man who brought us "The Squid and the Whale", a movie that not many saw but everyone should have. This time around Baumbach presents a story about a man named Roger Greenberg who decides, after being recently released from an mental institute in New York, to go and house-sit for his brother Phil Greenberg, played by Chris Messina. During this time Greenberg decides that he is going to take a break from life and just "do nothing". This manifestation of his attitude is completely reflected in the script of the movie, which provides no growth for almost the entire film. We follow Greenberg from boring socially removed experience to more of the same situations just with different scenery to look at.
But as the movie progresses, if you can call it that, we see a truly different type of romantic relationship begin to develop. Roger begins to loath his lonely isolated life and remedies it by having awkward sex followed by mean spirited conversations with his brother's personal assistant, Florence Marr. And that is the basic premise of the entire movie.
Of course there are some questions that need to be answered such as "will Greenberg finally figure out how to be happy outside of the asylum?" Or how about "will Greenberg finally be able to put some other persons needs before his own?" All of these questions, among many more, get answered by the end of the movie. But, by that point in time we don't care.
That is one of the major problems with this movie. You don't really care for the characters at all. They are all so self destructive that by the time the audience reaches the end, they really don't care for the characters, which in turn makes the ending seem less fulfilling.
Stick with "The Squid and the Whale".
2 out of 5
Date Night
Do you have a "DATE NIGHT" planned? Well, you might want to consider breaking it and catch up on episodes of 30 Rock and The Office that you have been meaning to get to. Let me start off, by saying that I really was looking forward to this movie. After all, it is like the perfect dream team, Tina Fey and Steve Carrell, two stars of some of my current favorite Shows on Television (30 ROCK and THE OFFICE) have finally paired up together for the first time. I thought that finally the heavens had aligned in such a way that Earth had not seen since Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn did their last movie together. However, I was terribly wrong.
The movie, directed by Shawn Levy, is about a middle aged married couple named Phil and Claire Foster, who, fearing that their stagnate life might be not only uninteresting but also unfulfilling, decide to mix things up a bit by going to a new restaurant in Manhattan. And as the traditional formulaic Hollywood setup would suggest, they run into so trouble with some stereotypical rouge rough men. The predictable insanity ensues as we follow Claire and Phil through one predictable set up after another (of course with some new and funny twists thrown in).
Now, this movie is not completely horrible like I am sure that this review is making it sound. Fey and Carrell both do an excellent job playing two characters we love to see in trouble, only for the fact that the audience wants to see how bad they can screw it up (which will provide us with some laughs). I could easily see them continuing to do movies together, because it is very clear that they have comedic chemistry which is a rare thing to find. Also, fans of Mark Walhberg will be excited that he finally has an interesting character to play. Well, at least interesting for him and his limited acting ability (lets be serious, he is the B-version of Matt Damon). Also, Ray Liotta mixes it up a bit by playing the exact same character that he always does, at least since Goodfellas.
Are you able to sense the sarcasm?
But in all seriousness, it wasn’t a bad movie; it just wasn't that good either. If you have a few hours to kill and want something that will not challenge you but merely allow you to relax and forget about your financial problems (including how you can’t believe you just spent $10 on a movie ticket) then this might just do the trick. However, if you are looking to have a really good time at the cinemas you might have a better chance of it by having your date slip you a roofie.
2 (1/2) out of 5.
New Beginnings
Day 1:
At some point in time we have all heard the saying "Everyone's a critic", and I believe it is very true. But unlike most of us, who tend to just rant to whomever is near us, I have chosen to do it on the internet.
But what should I rant about? Trust me, there are many things that I go off on, but my main priority is movies. I love this medium more than almost any other thing in the World. It brings me a lot of enjoyment to my life. So, on the posts that follow, I play to add a review a day for your reading pleasure. Well, I hope you get pleasure out of it. Not sexual of course, but hopefully it will provide you with almost the same level of enjoyment as sex.... Anyway, back on topic, I will provide my own critiques without apologies or regrets. Love it or hate it; you decide.
Here we go.
At some point in time we have all heard the saying "Everyone's a critic", and I believe it is very true. But unlike most of us, who tend to just rant to whomever is near us, I have chosen to do it on the internet.
But what should I rant about? Trust me, there are many things that I go off on, but my main priority is movies. I love this medium more than almost any other thing in the World. It brings me a lot of enjoyment to my life. So, on the posts that follow, I play to add a review a day for your reading pleasure. Well, I hope you get pleasure out of it. Not sexual of course, but hopefully it will provide you with almost the same level of enjoyment as sex.... Anyway, back on topic, I will provide my own critiques without apologies or regrets. Love it or hate it; you decide.
Here we go.
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